The Digital Disconnect: Smartphones, Social Skills, and a Lost Generation
It usually starts with a few dings and some buzzing sounds, and everyone in the classroom simultaneously picks up their phones to check the notification. It’s nothing, just a student who didn’t show up asking what the homework was. The professor looks up, and sees everyone on their devices, tapping away on their screens to format a response to their absent classmate. A phenomenon that plagues classrooms everywhere, as it’s become increasingly difficult to find a person under 25 without a smartphone. It’s almost as if they can’t live without them, and frankly, I don’t believe they can. As far as anyone is concerned, younger people spend more time communicating with each other through screens than in person, and most seem to enjoy it that way. But what about human interaction? Don’t we need to see each other face to face to be our truest selves, or are we slowly becoming represented solely by our devices?
2020 was a rough year for everyone. COVID cost people their jobs, companies went out of business, and almost 7 million people died as a result. It changed everyone, some becoming recluses, and some becoming millionaires. The effects of the virus were so broad, but one thing we can all agree on is that long periods of isolation hindered our ability to converse. It tweaked our perception of the outside world and the people around us — the ones we didn’t quarantine with, that is. But even then, being trapped at home with your friends and family for the foreseeable future does not sound like fun to most. In Kate Murphy’s, “We’re All Socially Awkward Now,” she speaks about the struggles that almost everyone faced when reemerging from our dens and being blinded by the outside light. “People separated from society - by circumstance or by choice – report feeling more socially anxious, impulsive, awkward, and intolerant when they return to normal life,” (Murphy, 2020). While I find myself struggling to maintain a conversation with people outside of my current social circle, for others, this is unusual. I’ve seen even the most extroverted kind become shy and awkward around people they don’t know. A sudden change that stems entirely from our continued use of our electronic devices.
I remember a time when smartphones didn’t exist yet. A time when if anything out of the ordinary occurred, people just stopped and stared, instead of pulling out their phones to snap a picture or take a video. It’s become such a natural act that we do it almost without thinking. In “How Camera Phones Stunt Bravery and Short-Circuit Human Decency,” Erika Thorkelson paints a picture in the reader’s mind about a certain scenario in which an impromptu prank turned robbery turned a lesser-known actor into an overnight sensation – for all the wrong reasons – and aided in him becoming the most hated person on the planet for about 15 minutes. And no, it wasn’t because of whatever you think he did. Thorkelson does a better job explaining the entire ordeal. “The man behind the camera, a young actor named Riley Speers, told reporters that he didn’t intervene because he was afraid of the unnamed hulk,” she notes, “and that posting the video online was his way of doing “the right thing.”, (Thorkelson 2014). Now, I can understand where Speers is coming from, but what justice was served – what good was done by uploading this video to Reddit? It’s almost as if social media has wired our brains to believe that virtual validation from people all across the planet is more important than actually stepping in and getting help. Apps like TikTok and Instagram influence younger people into believing what’s cool and what’s boring, while others like Citizen and Twitter engage their users into becoming on-the-spot video journalists. Let’s not get started on the idea of catfishes, either. But without our phones, what are we? Are we still humans or are we being led by these platforms we so highly praise?
I, personally, noticed that ever since I received my first smartphone during my freshman year of high school, my confidence levels and social skills dropped tremendously. I used to be able to start up a conversation with practically anyone, but now I don’t speak unless spoken to. I find that I become nervous and shy in a lot of interactions, not knowing what to say or do. It became so bad that I didn’t have a hard time surviving through quarantine. I’d been socially awkward for years prior, so it wasn’t difficult for me to adjust. But I also feel as though there are bigger, more detrimental factors to this sudden shyness. Things like social media and various chat platforms allow us to put on a persona and live a lifestyle some would be ashamed to embrace in the real world. I find that many individuals base their entire personality on what they see on the internet. Almost so that it becomes them. Those who can’t think for themselves and get every ounce of knowledge from social media are the ones who so desperately need real human interaction. These are the people who need to engage with the real world in order to be their best selves. While I find that I am, in some way, similar, as I am able to engage in conversation easier through text rather than in person but only find myself capable of being my best self in person once I develop that level of comfort with others.
To clarify, while I believe that humans do need peer-to-peer interaction to be their best selves, I do also believe that it’ll be a long time before we’re all able to come together and put down our devices to engage with each other. Every single day, I am shocked by the amazing interactions I have with people on the street compared to the boring conversations I share with others online. Although it isn’t uncommon, too many instances of people clicking and interacting in person go unnoticed, as we spend more time worrying about our online presence than focusing on what’s right in front of us. In order to be our best selves, we must find out who we truly are, and that can only begin when we open our eyes and step outside. There is nothing purer and more genuine than human-to-human interactions, and even though we seem so distant for reasons out of our control, all we need is a little small talk, and we can slowly but surely feel like ourselves again.
References
Murphy, K. (2020, September 1). Nytimes.com. The New York Times - Breaking News, US News, World News and Videos. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/01/sunday-review/coronavirus-socially-awkward.html
Thorkelson, E. (2014, March 18). How camera phones stunt bravery and short-circuit human decency. Hazlitt. https://hazlitt.net/blog/how-camera-phones-stunt-bravery-and-short-circuit-human-decency
